highlights
10 highlights saved, filed under productivity.
- 01
But allowing your needs to remain unaddressed while you continuously cater to others is the path toward resentment and bitterness.
- 02
Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition. It involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion. Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation.
- 03
I realized that as long as I was respectful to the individual asking for my help, I wasn’t responsible for any offense taken when I said no.
- 04
You’ll come to appreciate that their disappointment is neither your fault nor responsibility.
- 05
We have a limited number of hours to play with each day. That means every time we say yes to someone, we’re saying no to someone or something else.
- 06
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. The problem is, if you’re constantly saying yes to other people, putting their priorities ahead of your own, you won’t have the time or energy to care for yourself. And you’ll slowly become irritated, cynical, and miserable.
- 07
The most responsible thing you can do is care for yourself before you cater to others.
- 08
Burdened with a low self-image, we mistakenly believe our time is worth less than others’ time. We wrongly assume our goals and interests are inferior to other people’s goals and interests. We perceive our value to the world as somehow less than the value offered by those around us.
- 09
The good news is that saying no can actually improve your sense of self-worth. The more you do it, the more you’ll come to realize that your time, commitments, and aspirations are just as important as those of the requestor.
- 10
The problem is, capitulating to avoid conflict reinforces the idea that your feelings are less important than those of the other person.